Conversations and Silence

A few weeks ago I was sitting at our dining room table with my spousal unit and my 6 year old granddaughter.  We were enjoying breakfast.  In a matter of fact tone my granddaughter said, "Two of my friends died.  Jack and Ally.  Jack Pinto, he was in my class.  Ally's name was Allison, but I called her Ally."

Ginger and I were speechless as our treasure processed being a first grader from Newtown Connecticut, dealing with realities difficult and tragic for a person of any age.  "This is not a conversation that a 6 year old should be having!" I thought to myself as we silently respected Reese's space as she remembered her friends.  As true as this is, I am sure children in Syria, Africa and other areas of our world infected with senseless violence, are remembering friends and family now gone.  Hopefully they have a place to say out loud what is in their heart. Scars of the heart  can often heal through conversation, I think. 

As a young man I did an experiment based on a Bible verse in James "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;"  (Jas 1:19)  I decided for a day to do this.  The exercise was simple:  If someone was talking and I had something I wanted to say, I would count to 3 after they stopped before speaking (quick to hear, slow to speak--get it.).  If they started talking again I would be quick to hear.  I went through my entire day without getting to say much.  It seemed that I could not get past 2 before someone would talk which required me to be quick to listen and slow to speak all over again, restarting the cycle.  It was a profound experience, you may want to try it.

I have learned a lot more in my life by listening than I ever did by talking.  I learned that morning at my breakfast table that my precious granddaughter guards in her heart the memory of her friends who were so cruelly taken from this earth.  She honors them by speaking their names.  I learned that this child and her thoughts are deep and serious and worthy of my listening.  I learned that my words could add nothing to the reverence that she displayed for life, her friends and the reality that although they are gone they are not forgotten.  I discovered a new and deeper respect for her as she deals with grief and confusion in a world prepared to dispense both in abundance over her lifetime.  I realized from that moment of seeing into her 6 year old mind, that she will likely be able to handle whatever life offers her with grace.  I learned that God has placed a sensitive and serious "woman to be" in our midst who will make a difference by who she is and what she does.